Two things I have recently become obsessed with:
- Ever-so-lightly-pink lip glosses
- South Park: The Stick of Truth
The polar opposite nature of these two things are basically me in a nutshell.
I love my crass humour and my video games, but will still occasionally have to pause and coo at the shiny girly things.
I like to think of these brownies as an unapologetically disgusting yet hilarious sense of humour topped with an extra sparkly hit of Dolly gloss. Like me!
Let me explain.
Let’s see.. what’s going on with me lately.
I’m 8 episodes into Orange is the New Black… was Donna from That 70s Show always this hot? I think it’s the eyeliner. I love a good cateye.
I’m horribly addicted to threes. My top score is 24,921, which sounds impressive, but not if you hear how often I play.
I’m down 3 out of the 10 pounds I am aiming to lose… and would really rather be eating chocolate than the little bowl (and I do mean little. Prep bowl little) of blueberries next to me.
I love fruit, I do, but a girl needs her chocolate. Not that I’ve cut out chocolate (I would never), but if you’re trying to shed a lumpy tire, not every single baked good can be oozing with chocolate.
That’s how I gained back the 10 (now 7) I have on.
I don’t care what you’re doing, if you have ever loved red velvet in any of its cakey forms, MAKE THESE NOW.
What’s that? You’re a busy lady with no time for whoopie pies? HAH, there’s no such thing. Everyone has time for whoopie pies.
What’s that you say? You’re on a diet? You still need these. It’s okay, blame me, I’m used to being a terrible influence. Besides, I’m on a diet too.
Did you know this past Friday was Chinese New Year?
Now that I’m away from home, I don’t do as much for Chinese New Year as I did when I was younger and living with my parents, but there are a few traditions I still try to follow.
Eat noodles for long life!
Don’t clean the house… it washes away all the good fortune.
They’re all a bit superstitious, but they’re tradition! Plus, any tradition telling me not to clean the house is an easy one to keep.
Even after over 5 years in Seattle, I still suck at drinking unsweetened coffee.
It’s not just black coffee I have trouble downing, but cappuccinos and lattes as well if they don’t have any kind of sugar or syrup. I mean, it’s not as bad as with black coffee, if someone hands me a good latte, I will absolutely drink it. I just still prefer some sort of sweetener.
The thing that has changed over time, is my pickiness with flavoured coffees. Flavour used to be the only way I would down coffee, hazelnut coffee being my original gateway drug.
I now think hazelnut coffee is kind of gross.
And I love hazelnuts.
I don’t understand it, I just know I hate it.
Do you know what springerles are?
I had never heard about them, even just in passing, until I started to date Trevor. He grew up with Springerles and has always loved them dearly.
They are an extremely simple, anise flavoured cookie. They only have 4 ingredients, but have a few tricks to them that make them something special.
I’m about to share with you, Trevor’s grandmother’s recipe.
Siiiiimplyyyyyyy haaaaaaaaavingg…. a WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIIIIIIIIIIIIME….
Okay. So those are all the words I know to that song.
And maybe I’ve been randomly breaking out into that song since December started.
CHRISTMAS IS THE BEST.
I have been having a hard week.
Just… a lot of things. A lot of things going on.
I feel like I start every post these days with “OMG SO MUCH IS HAPPENING WHY IT DO THIS?”
This year is just my year of funk. Funk like the stinkiness, not like the music.
The music would be way more fun.
But it’s okay because tomorrow I will be face deep in thanksgiving foods.
I’m really good at drowning my sadness and stresses in food.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl who loved chocolate.
She loved it in cookies and cakes, in brownies and tarts.
She would eat in any way she could get her grubby little hands on it.
Sometimes she would even eat it illicitly out of the cookie jar. (Sorry mom!)
Then one day, someone told her she could eat it for dinner too, without getting in trouble…
in a mole sauce.
But she soon discovered it was all a trick! For mole sauce was not sweet, and to this little girl, actually tasted like mud.
Did you know this past Thursday was talk like a pirate day?
Aye matey! Tis the truth!
Apparently Krispy Kreme celebrated with donuts. FREE donuts. Talking like a pirate got you a free donut, dressing like a pirate got you A DOZEN FREE DONUTS.
I’m not going to lie, I totally have an appropriately piratey outfit. I should have worn it to a Krispy Kreme. I honestly didn’t only out of laziness.
I have no shame in adorning a blousey shirt, an underbust corset and a jaunty hat.
So I had to celebrate in other ways.