Two things I have recently become obsessed with:
- Ever-so-lightly-pink lip glosses
- South Park: The Stick of Truth
The polar opposite nature of these two things are basically me in a nutshell.
I love my crass humour and my video games, but will still occasionally have to pause and coo at the shiny girly things.
I like to think of these brownies as an unapologetically disgusting yet hilarious sense of humour topped with an extra sparkly hit of Dolly gloss. Like me!
Let me explain.
The most stressful thing about baking for a blog is trying to make everything look pretty.
I mean, I always want the end product to look pretty, but I don’t want to have to worry about how the shine of the cherries look in the sunlight and how many crumbs are on my white plate.
Everything takes longer when you’re worried about what angle the whisk is sitting at in your bowl.
But I do it. I do it for your guys.
But sometimes, you can’t even get the final beauty shot.
Exhibit A, above.
Siiiiimplyyyyyyy haaaaaaaaavingg…. a WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIIIIIIIIIIIIME….
Okay. So those are all the words I know to that song.
And maybe I’ve been randomly breaking out into that song since December started.
CHRISTMAS IS THE BEST.
I have been having a hard week.
Just… a lot of things. A lot of things going on.
I feel like I start every post these days with “OMG SO MUCH IS HAPPENING WHY IT DO THIS?”
This year is just my year of funk. Funk like the stinkiness, not like the music.
The music would be way more fun.
But it’s okay because tomorrow I will be face deep in thanksgiving foods.
I’m really good at drowning my sadness and stresses in food.
Once upon a time, there was a little girl who loved chocolate.
She loved it in cookies and cakes, in brownies and tarts.
She would eat in any way she could get her grubby little hands on it.
Sometimes she would even eat it illicitly out of the cookie jar. (Sorry mom!)
Then one day, someone told her she could eat it for dinner too, without getting in trouble…
in a mole sauce.
But she soon discovered it was all a trick! For mole sauce was not sweet, and to this little girl, actually tasted like mud.
Did you know this past Thursday was talk like a pirate day?
Aye matey! Tis the truth!
Apparently Krispy Kreme celebrated with donuts. FREE donuts. Talking like a pirate got you a free donut, dressing like a pirate got you A DOZEN FREE DONUTS.
I’m not going to lie, I totally have an appropriately piratey outfit. I should have worn it to a Krispy Kreme. I honestly didn’t only out of laziness.
I have no shame in adorning a blousey shirt, an underbust corset and a jaunty hat.
So I had to celebrate in other ways.
These cookies are not made for sinking your teeth into.
They neither oo, nor goo.
But they do have a little chocolate!
Apologies, I am in full panic mode.
I really should calm down, nothing is actually going wrong with my new house or my current house, but it’s all happening in less than a week and… omg is anyone else seeing stars?
I think my right leg just went numb.
A few years ago, in an effort to be a little healthier, I lost 30 pounds over the span of a year. I knew that I would never be able to stop eating sugary deliciousness, so I went the calorie counting route as opposed to the “eating healthy foods” route. It worked out for me, and I’ve kept most of the weight off since.
Most of it.
I tend to occasionally bounce around 5-6 pounds heavier than my lightest from time to time.
It’s actually a relatively accurate measure of my current life stress level.
I did not intentionally go on a bourbon kick… but I seem to have gone on a bourbon kick.
In my previous post there was the bourbon in the whiskey marshmallow, caramel and bacon bark, and now there’s these squares.
Squares that are essentially blondies that are strongly bourbon flavoured.
And I claim to not even like alcohol.